Thin line between love & lust...or no line at all?

One of my old, much thought-over, favorite paradoxes...thin line between love or lust...or no line at all? Frankly speaking there was a time...when I believed less in love and was driven by lust....be it due to age, be it due to experience, it was like this....but over time....over newer experiences....we mature...we learn...we learn to learn....and we learn to love...and we love....and be loved....and I think now that there IS a line between love and lust....however....love followed by lust could make the experience very precious, worth-while, but the opposite is possible but not worth it. I mean I believe from my layman's knowledge and observation of animal kingdom and biology that...its possible for a man to draw a line between love and lust...they can fall in love with one woman and sleep around with other women...without loving them ofcourse....they need a PLACE to have sex....the question is whether a man should do that or not? especially when love is already in place with a special woman, and there are issues of ethics and morality...after all...we are humans...so my answer is NO. On the other hand, I think women don't usually separate love and lust, in their eyes, its more interwined..so they need a REASON...to have sex......so my question is...is it wrong to admit that you..as a male.. would be attracted to opposite sex at the first instance, there is nothing wrong in that...only if you know where to draw 'the line'? or should a man alltogether lie and deny this?

20 random things : answers to tagging

1. Its very funny and childish, but time and again, I admit that I really love to eat...lol...different food...at different locations....I don't know why, but I think its great..I mean food...haha...

2. A corollary is that I don't know how to cook, which I believe is a major weakness of mine, but I know that if I want, I could be an excellent cook, I just need to memorise the steps and cook one item a couple of times, so that I don't forget...and stop putting every spice in every dish.

3. I am very fond of travelling, as I believe its much better to ponder at new people, new location, new scenery than reading books, half an hour spent in a new place is worth reading 10 books for 20 days.

4. I really like the diversity in people, color, languages, shapes and sizes, I really used to get bored back in Bangladesh having seen the same faces, same problems, same reactions again and again, living in India first and now in the best melting pot of the world, London, has quenched my thirst for diversity to a great extent.

5. I like to learn and speak foreign languages, it kind of opens a new world all together.
6. I don't find it interesting anymore to read fictions, novels or any reading material that is just for fun and leisure.
7. I love making friends and keeping in touch them and remembering them atleast on their birthdays...I also expect the same from them, I believe its the small things in friendship that are so great in value.
8. I enjoy good sense of humour, witty conversations.
9. I get very bored and impatient with people who think slow and act even slower.
10. I don't understand arts, paints and poems, its not that I am not romantic or something...but I dont understand those media of expressing romance.
11. Afer buying my first computer in 1997, I realised after a year that I was simulating it...haha..but it was good...it helps.
12. I think my being fleet-footed leads me in incompletion of projects, plans and aspirations...causes trouble sometimes in relations too...I would rather calm down at times.
13. I believe I am a Bangladeshi Bengali Muslim...in that order...and am proud of each of the elements.
14. I honestly want to do something for the country where I belong, I believe its people are the main source of its competitive advantage, they are made happy with very little, only I wish we had a great leader...giving us some relief from the dirty, sick, continuous, insane, disgusting, mindless, directionless, useless, time-wasting politics of the two women....and their cronies...
15. I believe the Bangladesh cricket team personifies the nation as a whole...they are samples from the big population....middle-heighted, soft-faced, smiling for nothing, lacking killer instincts...(any instincts sometimes...), lacking drive to achieve, lacking self-belief, suffering from identity crisis....but holding immense, unexplored, untasted potential to be atleast better if not the best...by all means.
16. I do not like little boys, they are trouble makers...but I really would like to have a little daughter....they are much better...and love can be renewed to another woman in life...without the sexual element in it and ofcourse unconditional....
17. I am not greedy..but I want to earn so much so that my justified dreams are achieved, earn and save that much so that I can facilitate the lives of those for whom I care, and rescue them from going through the same emotional turbulences that I have experienced, only because of that.
18. I really miss a proper desi head massage these days.
19. I feel very obliged, embarassed and ofcourse happy when somebody gifts me something, I feel overwhelmed.
20. I live in tomorrow, present doesn't exist for me and past is always an asset.

20 useless things about me and Siddharth

Well now that Sid baby has provided a framework to analyse oneself, I would use it as a model to look for matches and mismatches. Also Sid please let me know what 'tagging' is....I am familiar with near alikes i.e. lagging, nagging, dragging, sha***g..anyways...but as I am new in the blogsphere, please enlighten me about this 'tag' thingie.

Anyways..so here we are...

1.Talking/writing about myself is most difficult.
--I agree with Sid, as everyday seems a new 'me'

2.Though change is the only constant, I wish somethings wouldn't change!
--I think so too, especially those memories with friends, when we were in school, no responsibilities, no tension, no expectations...only full time fun and part time studies!

3.It generally takes me time to open up to people and this period is getting longer and longer I think.
--I can get along pretty well....pretty fast....only if I want to.

4.Sometimes though things click instantly...these people then hold a special place...and the person who tagged me is a prime example of it.
--What is 'tagging'?

5.I like being around my friends, though I don't mind my own company either.
--Me too, there should be a room left in every relationship, so that everybody can breathe, not through other's throat, and there is a difference between being alone and being lonely.

6.I don't like it when people make a mountain of a mole...
--Neither do I, I like to see logic and sequence in everything, which is not always possible I admit.

7.I like people with creative zeal...probably to make up for my own lack of it...
--Me too, I also like people with sense of humour and who can do witty conversations.

8.I seek answers to my questions in songs, books and the things around me.
--Me too...

9.I want to have a huge study, where I ll have thousands of books,cds/dvds/blu-rays (whatever) for me to dive into whenever I want to.
--What does Sid mean by 'blu-rays'? Is it some sort of blue ray coming out of one his huge collection of blue films or what? Anyways......but I am not into collecting things much, I don't collect anything...other than memories...as I believe the more tangible things I collect, the questions come to preserve it, to maintain it, to protect it, but there won't be any time to relish it later....life is too short.

10.I like gadgets...and have been eyeing the Nokia N91 mobile for a long time...not scheduled to come till Q1-06 :(
--Not a great fan of gadgets, I like to eat more...haha....and travelling....

11.I am not religious but I like to think that there exists a higher authority, even though that doesn't make sense...good for the conscience I guess :).
--I agree Sid...me religious neither.....but its worth attempting to think what's going on some where....

12.I am a "Centrist" with a social leaning...
--I think I am more of a 'reflectionist'....would love to hone my 'activist' skills.

13.At one time I wanted to take up politics...sometimes I still do...
--Me too...I dream of being the messenger of change and prosperity in the tiny, over-populated motherland of mine...I dream of that identity...which our fellow countrymen should be proud of...but after the heat subdues, I change my mind fearing to lose my life to a tiny piece of lead...or (on a popular terrorist demand)...splinters perhaps.

14.I like sports of all kind, except the "Golf" kind...lol...playing is different but I don't understand why people watch it...
--Me too....I like cricket, martial arts...and many other indoor, outdoor, closedoor games...haha....and i dont understand....and don't like to watch rugby, boxing, chess and golf.

15.If something catches my fancy...I just pursue it blindly, till I get a hang of it, but I have a short attention span...
--I don't pursue anything blindly in the fear of getting hurt in the process.... I have a short attention span too...

16.I procrastinate way too much....I wish I was more pro-active.
--I don't procrastinate things..I want to have everything and all the things...right now and right here !!!

17.I prefer nights over day. (now things are getting really random and useless..lol)
--I prefer days over nights....I only prefer to sleep at nights......I can't study at night, I don't want to involve in basic biological acts at night, I don't function at nights.....lets do it in sunshine babe! lol.

18.I want to play an instrument...
--I wonder what kind of instrument Sid Baby is inferring to...I think it must be musical....anyways...I also want to master atleast one instrument before I die...be it guitar or flute...so that I can pass my time in hell well..and keep the other inmates happy.

19.Time travel fascinates me.
--I live in future too...I see things.

20.I love watching the stars at night, I had a telescope once and I plan to buy one again!
--Are you sure Sid that you watched 'stars' at night with your telescope? or could it be the 'stars' in your neighbourhood? However, I think I love to watch people...in streets...in malls...etc.

Myths of Dogs & Delegation

The day started in a bad note I must say. Its not that I don't like pets but I really do not want to see a massive German Shepherd dog dozing in front of my kitchen first thing in the morning....its filthy, its dirty, and the worst...its dangerous too....as I have the previous experience to feel the canines of the same breed of animal on my right thigh. Its understood that the mercury has dropped nearly to 5 degrees and the dog can't stay outside, but its not supposed to sleep at my doorstep either, as I am paying f*****g 65 quids per week of my hard-earned money to stay in one of the most expensive cities on earth, the dog is staying for free and spreading germs too. The problem is the landlords don't stay on the same compound so they don't care that much but they will have to, and they will have to care from today itself.

Its only human perhaps that unless and until they are not in other's shoes, they don't realise how it feels. Same goes for delegation too, empowerment is a tricky job, especially when you know that people are naturally inclined to rely on the most active of all, and they chill out themselves, or do something they think to be of more importance to them. I just hate this shit, the richer gets richer, the poorer gets poorer and those who work hard are made to work harder and those who prefer to pretext their 'lack of talent' or time or whatever, they always tend to get away....either by luck (another evil) or by some sheer uncanny stupid miracle. Disgusting!

Holloway Road Prison

There are two prisons in the Holloway Road area, where I live in London, one for female culprits...and one for male criminals....actually this area was once patrolled and controlled by gangsters and druglords, they still have left behind some traces here and there. Although I am not an inmate in any of those prisons, but the whole area has become a big open prison for me, its like a wild life sanctuary...lol...where we can roam around within a diameter but never can go beyond it....its been ages that life has become so mechanic...waking up, getting ready, having breakfast, buying FT on way to either 3 days of class and/or rest 4 days at work, coming online in the evenings, checking emails, reading prothom-alo..the bangla newspaper.... doing assignments....checking bank balance..and fretting how quick the hard earned money is disappearing...., going home, cooking or studying, sometimes praying and going to sleep and continue the same the next day....well..its not that I am complaining or something like that....its just a particular dominant characteristic of life these days..that is it....

Soul searching through the other side

My stomach is a royal stomach, its very sensitive, very moody and its moods swing with seasons. So much I have gone through because of her royal highness in my 26 year old kingdom, starting from endoscopy through the mouth, flexible sigmeudoscopy and ending with colonoscopy today....endoscopy is through the mouth and colonoscopy is through...well...forget it...in any way its kind of a soul searching which I was watching in the TV while lying down in the testing theater...trying to search for my soul..my conscience..up my arse...haha......I wonder if its ended today or not....not to mention a long previous list of IBS, cramps, and various types of turbulences! I am sick and tired of this. One doc back home in Dhaka told me that when other people get angry, frustrated, disappointed, they break things, become irritated, become rude....and I.....I take a shit! Can you believe this? He says its all linked with my stomach.

Pray for the recovery and good health of her majesty please.